I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
