Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He shit in the fireplace
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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