At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
