put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
