i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm too high and old for this...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
