I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
