my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
