sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
