He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
