Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Damn victory sex feels great
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
