My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
