I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
