im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
