so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
