I cockslap morals
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
