also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
