i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A bitchslap is in order.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
