I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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