u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
