fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
