Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
