The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
