I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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