He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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