There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
