i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My penis needs a shock collar
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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