White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
