remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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