Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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