im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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