what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
