Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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