So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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