If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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