No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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