I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
