Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
