you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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