Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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