But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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