So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
this boner is exhausting
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
