And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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