Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
