Can i not drive my cunt home
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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