Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I love black thongs
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
