He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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