I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
