awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
