So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
