I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
