If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
