Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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