I'm gonna have a badass scar
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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