so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
