I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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