I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
